A simple holiday gift
by Robert Gerzon
Thanksgiving is the "easy" holiday (unless you’re the one cooking the turkey). No presents involved, and relatively few hassles—except perhaps for a few relative-ly hassles! But Hanukkah, Christmas and New Years Eve 2000 will be upon us soon. These are the big ones—financially, emotionally and, yes, spiritually.
After a busy fall, what many of us feel we really need this time of year is some peace and quiet. What society gives us instead is the intense commotion of the "holiday season," and the anxiety-producing ritual of shopping for gifts that cost too much, for people who have too much.
What keeps me sane is making sure that I focus on the true meaning of the season. For my wife Christine and me, the meaning is love. It’s good to focus on love during any season, but this season celebrates love. It’s a time to notice the love in our hearts, in our souls and in nature itself.
We honor the ties that bind us to one another as we gather with our friends and loved ones. If we are fortunate, somewhere amidst the parties, the wrapping paper and the festive dinner table, we will feel the walls of separation dissolve as we experience the love that circulates from heart to heart.
The great holy day of Christmas is above all a joyous celebration of Love. In the Christian tradition, the birth of the Christ Child was a gift of love from God—a spiritual sign that "God so loved the world." Jesus’ message during his lifetime was one of love, continually inviting us to "love one another."
At the winter solstice Nature bestows a life-giving gift of love—the radiant rebirth of Light as the sun rises higher in the sky and the days gradually begin to grow longer.
This weekend I went for a late afternoon walk, returning as night was falling. Turning the corner, I saw our house decorated with the gaily colored lights my son Gabe and I had put up earlier. To anyone driving by it looks like a very ordinary house—and it is. But for me it is a very special place. Within that simple wooden structure is a living miracle of love.
As I walked up the driveway, the golden glow of light streaming out the window reminded me of the warmth and love that fills the house. When I walk inside there are people there who love me. That simple gift means more to me than anything else. For some folks who have had that their whole lives, it may not seem that special or that amazing. But for me, coming late in life to love, it is a daily miracle.
Even though Christine and I have been loving each other for 18 years, that love keeps growing so much deeper each year that it continues to amaze and inspire me. When Christine sees me come in, she smiles and stops what she is doing to greet me with a hug and a kiss. And I do the same when she comes home. A simple gift, an ordinary miracle!
When I think of my children I have to smile too, because of the love that flows between us. Yesterday Gabe and I were tossing a football to each other, but more than just a football was going back and forth—there was love and laughter too. My daughter Susie, now graduated from college and living at home temporarily while working at her first job, gives me hugs and kisses again, now that the stormy teen years are behind us. These are simple gifts worth celebrating.
Over the years, Christine and I have become more skilled at generating love, circulating it through our home, and sending it out into the world. This love is not the sentimental love of greeting cards, but a love that has been purified by conflicts, difficulties, hurts, and disappointments. It is a love energized and made passionate by challenges accepted, goals sought after and dreams dreamed together. Love forged in the fire of authentic real-life human relationships is the strongest kind of love—a simple gift, yet more valuable and more enduring than gold.
So amid the hustle and bustle of the season, I keep returning to love, because it keeps me sane. And I keep returning to the peace and quiet of my inner world of meditation and contemplation, because that keeps me sane. I know that whatever I am doing, even when it’s the seasonal dance of hustle-and-bustle, I can do it from love.
My holiday wish for you is that sometime this month there will be one moment when everything stops…and you notice the small miracles of Love in your life. A moment when everything becomes still…and you feel how much you are loved and realize how much love you have to give. And once you experience that moment, I hope you choose to have many more such moments throughout the year…because they are free and the supply is unlimited!
A final holiday shopping tip: If there is someone on your list and you’re not sure what to give them, or the malls are just too crowded, or your credit cards are already maxed out…just give them a simple gift. (Hint: It’s a perennial favorite, appropriate for all occasions and goes with everything).
Wishing you all the Light and Love of the season!
Find out more about Robert Gerzon’s highly acclaimed book Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety.
Find out more about Robert Gerzon’s Counseling and Coaching Services.
Read more articles by Robert Gerzon online at:
http://www.gerzon.com
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