Love Letters
by Robert Gerzon
Every February, in the depths of winter's chill, Valentine's Day reminds us of the warmth that emanates from the human heart. The heart is the body's hearth. When the fires of love, passion and affection burn brightly, we experience a joy that warms us and radiates outward bringing joy to others. A happy heart is like an inner sun that can keep us warm even in the midst of a cold world.
The fuel for the heart's fire is love and acceptance. It has two sources, one internal and one external. We keep our own fires burning by loving ourselves. We stoke each other's fires with acts of love and acceptance -- kind words, passionate embraces, gentle touches, affectionate glances, acts of service, and attentive listening.
In an intimate relationship we are each warmed by the other's passion and affection. As Christine and I coach couples in the art of intimacy, we see how couples, often without realizing it, say and do things that dampen their partner's inner flame. Critical words, irritated looks, blaming and arguments are like throwing water on a fire. Disinterest and distancing, neglecting to express love and appreciation, are like failing to stoke a fire with the wood it needs to keep burning. Whatever fire that survives often gives off its remaining heat as anger instead of love.
Chris and I enjoy writing each other love letters and love notes. It's also one of our favorite exercises to do with the couples we coach. Instead of letting Hallmark do our talking for us, we can write our own original love letters. It could be as simple as a heartfelt paragraph written in a Valentine's card, a passionate email to brighten the workday, a tender poem, or a literary rhapsody consuming several pages. It's a chance to say those things that we may think but seldom say. It's a gift that is uniquely ours and will be treasured far beyond any store-bought present.
Love letters provide powerful fuel for the heart's fire. Love letters and love notes are not for lovers only. We can write a love letter to a friend. We can write one to a family member or relative. We can even write what is for most of us the most difficult epistle -- a heartfelt letter full of love and appreciation to our inner self.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Find out more about Robert Gerzon’s highly acclaimed book Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety.
Find out more about Robert Gerzon’s Counseling and Coaching Services.
Read more articles by Robert Gerzon online at:
http://www.gerzon.com
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