How to have all the time in the world
By Robert Gerzon
It is all too easy to become so overcommitted that every day becomes an experience of "too much." We instinctively resist recognizing our limits because to do so triggers our suppressed Sacred Anxiety. We like to pretend we have unlimited potential and that we will live forever. Yet in reality we have limited energy and a finite lifespan. Admitting we can’t do it all today is admitting we won’t be able to have it all and do it all during this lifetime either.
Perhaps the most common complaint I hear from my clients is that they "don’t have enough time." Several commentators, including the physicians Larry Dossey and Stephan Rechtschaffen, have written extensively about the effect of "time sickness" on our physical and mental health. Modern "rushoholics" are always racing, always out of breath, always feeling "behind schedule," always striving but seldom managing to "get ahead." The stressful impact of this way of life on the neurohormonal, digestive and cardiovascular systems is immediate.
When we are playing "beat the clock," time is our enemy and every second becomes fraught with anxiety. In the daily ticking of the clock we hear our anxiety about both life and death. Even closer to home, our heartbeat signals our aliveness, while the silence between beats reminds us of our mortality.
Time is running after us, ready to devour us if we "fall behind." Time is out in front, promising us relief if we can just "catch up" with it. Our anxious, time-hounded existence gives rise to both a feverish beat-the-clock mentality and the rebellious reaction we call procrastination. We dread "running out of time." We experience time as a scarce commodity; even people who are financially wealthy often suffer from "time poverty."
Existentially we know that one day we will truly run out of time. Death is the ultimate deadline, the dreaded Day of Judgment. In our heart of hearts, we dread that we may be found wanting, not quite "good enough" at the end of the day, at the end of our life, at the end of time.
Such an existence is antithetical to spiritual growth. To use anxiety for spiritual growth, we need to be willing to look within, to liberate ourselves from the pressured sense that there is "not enough time." We may choose to return to the joyful attitude that is expressed so exuberantly by the psalmist:
"This is the day the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."
Today is this unique, miraculous, once-in-a-lifetime day we are living, and it is also the eternal day in which we live forever. We can change our "time sense" to a far more serene concept of time that includes an awareness of timelessness, of having all the time in the world, because we (in the larger sense of our universal soul) do have "all the time in the world." Having the security of eternity allows us to relax enough to appreciate the preciousness of each fleeting moment. This day we are living is precious and unique in the history of the universe and will never come again. It invites us to live with full awareness and full gratitude, giving it everything we have.
Robert Grudin eloquently described living in harmony with time in his book, Time and the Art of Living:
"Happiness may well consist primarily of an attitude toward time. Individuals we consider happy commonly seem complete in the present. We see them constantly in their wholeness: attentive, cheerful, open rather than closed to events, integral in the moment rather than distended across time by regret or anxiety...One almost feels that their lives possess a kind of qualified eternity: that past and future, birth and death, meet for them as in the completion of a circle."
This more serene sense of time allows us to take the time we need to
deepen our awareness of our inner life, to nourish our spiritual nature
-- to breathe deeply and luxuriously in the midst of a busy morning, to
enjoy a quiet Sunday afternoon sitting, reflecting and journal writing.
The antidote to the "too much" syndrome is humility: resigning
from playing God and admitting our limitations. A vital component of human
freedom is the ability to say "no" to certain possibilities
and say "yes" to others. What most of us need to say "yes"
to more frequently is our own need for solitude and repose. The secret
to living successfully in an age of "too much" is the ability
to let go and "fall apart creatively."
Most of us instinctively tighten up under stress. The busier it gets,
the faster we go; the more there is to do, the more we try to do, all
the while feeling overwhelmed and fearful we'll "fall apart"
under the strain. Falling apart creatively means learning to
let go earlier and more often instead of waiting until we feel resentful
or collapse and get sick.
I advise my clients (including my most recalcitrant client, myself) to
take fifteen or twenty minutes during a busy "too-much" day,
and instead of striving to "keep it all together," letting it
all "fall apart." We can breathe out the responsibilities, the
stress, the self-importance, and simply let go. We can reconnect with
our higher power and the infinite universe. Afterwards, with our batteries
recharged, we can return to the tasks at hand with renewed vigor and alertness.
By redirecting our stress reaction from tightening to letting go, we avoid
the physiological damage of prolonged stress and cultivate our spiritual
life.
Taking time to honor the inner life of the soul has always been important,
but never has it been more important than in today’s non-stop society.
The ancient advice to "honor the Sabbath and keep it holy" reminds
us to respect our need for a "day of rest" -- a time of repose
and reconnection. Paradoxically, the same "too-much syndrome"
that forces us to recognize our limitations may also inspire us to search
for the boundless and the infinite.
Sometime this month why not take the poet Walt Whitman's advice to "loaf and invite your soul."
Robert Gerzon
77 Bolton St, Concord, MA 01742 • 978.369.3539
www.gerzon.com
Find out more about Robert Gerzon’s highly acclaimed book Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety.
Find out more about Robert Gerzon’s Counseling and Coaching Services.
Read more articles by Robert Gerzon online at:
http://www.gerzon.com
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